


from the midnight sun where the hot springs flow

by SilverHeart09



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: (for 4 people), AND THERE WAS ONLY 3 BEDS, Comfort, Cuddles, F/F, Family, also lots of Vikings, also naked dips in hot springs, and scary forest women
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25015495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverHeart09/pseuds/SilverHeart09
Summary: Huldra - 'a seductive forest creature found in Scandinavian folklore'The Doctor is refusing to believe they exist, except it would certainly explain why so many villagers from the Icelandic village of Hofstaðir have gone missing.Ryan just wanted to meet a prehistoric wombat.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 43
Kudos: 109





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Believe it or not this actually started off as a conversation between me, Bow_Ties and JTtrack2 about giant wombats, it escalated from there!
> 
> Honestly my Viking history isn't amazing so there was a bit of googling and research. If anyone spots anything GLARINGLY obviously wrong please let me know <3
> 
> Story title is from 'Immigrant Song' by Led Zeppelin ofc.

‘Please.’

‘No.’

_ ‘Please.’ _

‘No!’

‘Please please  _ please.’ _

‘Ryan, for the last time, I am not taking you to meet a prehistoric wombat!’ 

‘It is his turn to pick though, Doc.’

‘Yes I  _ know.’ _

The Doctor sighed, hands on her hips as she sronched her face at her friends. 

‘It’s just, they’re not as friendly as you might think a prehistoric wombat should be,’ she explained.

‘Eh? They’re heriborves aren’t they?’ Graham asked, confused. 

‘You’d think so,’ the Doctor muttered darkly. 

‘I’d love to see a prehistoric wombat!’ Yaz said. ‘It sounds super cute.’

The Doctor’s face fell. 

‘Et tu, Yaz?’

‘Oh cause when  _ Yaz  _ wants to see a giant wombat you won’t say no,’ Ryan muttered, annoyed. 

‘Look,’ the Doctor said, bouncing nervously on the balls of her feet. ‘I’m not saying  _ no -’ _

‘You were a minute ago.’

_ ‘BUT,  _ a Diprotodon is the size of a rhinoceros! And you lot look like, well, sticks of celery to a wombat that size.’ 

‘We don’t smell like one though surely?’ Yaz asked, frowning. ‘Don’t they use their noses to sniff out their food?’

‘You’d really think so,’ the Doctor said, nodding as though she wanted to agree with her. 

‘Hang on,’ Graham said. ‘Are you trying to tell us you’ve been attacked by a giant prehistoric wombat?’

‘Not  _ attacked  _ but, um, yes.’

Ryan spluttered with laughter and the Doctor glared at him crossly. 

‘They can run surprisingly fast for a giant wombat! You’d be surprised.’

‘Faster than you anyway, by the sounds of it,’ Yaz said quietly and Graham chortled.

‘Yes ha ha I got chased by a giant wombat everyone get it out their systems now,’ the Doctor muttered, annoyed. ‘It nearly killed me! You wouldn’t be laughing if I turned up on your doorstep with a different face. I might have a mohawk in the next life! Can you imagine?’

‘Don’t even joke about that,’ Yaz said, pointing a pen at her seriously. 

‘Aw Yaz,’ the Doctor's face softened, ‘I knew you care-’

‘Mohawks are  _ not  _ cool.’

Ryan and Graham laughed. The Doctor only glowered at her, but before she could open her mouth to come up with a witty retort the TARDIS suddenly chimed loudly and lurched to the side, toppling the occupants who immediately tried to grab purchase on something as the flights flashed and the ancient engines growned.

‘Oi! Language!’ the Doctor yelled, hauling herself back to her feet and gripping the console tightly. ‘What’s gotten into you?’

The TARDIS chimed again, more indignantly this time, and the Doctor reached over to grip the screen, tilting her head as she tried to read the information displayed. 

‘Iceland?’

‘Brilliant, trip to the Blue Lagoon sounds spot on, Doc!’ Graham yelled over the roar of the TARDIS engines. 

‘9th century!’ 

‘... so no Blue Lagoon?’

There was another lurch and the customary dong that always indicated they’d landed rang out politely, as though the TARDIS wanted to apologise for their sudden take-off. Yaz brushed her hair out of her face as she got to her feet. It had taken her a while, but eventually the three of them had learnt that it was very rarely the Doctor who was actually doing the piloting. Yaz wondered if the TARDIS only let the Doctor pull levers and push buttons because it wanted her to feel involved. It wasn’t that the Doctor was a  _ bad  _ pilot, Yaz had seen her commandeer more than one crashing ship to steer them out of danger, but the TARDIS just didn't seem to trust her skills.

‘Maybe we’ll do the giant wombat next time,’ Ryan muttered to himself. 

‘I’m not sure why we’re here,’ the Doctor said, frowning at the screen. ‘Unless the TARDIS didn't fancy another run in with Bertha either.’

‘Is that the  _ name  _ of the giant wombat?!’ Graham spluttered. 

‘So there’s actual Vikings out there?’ Yaz said, excited. ‘With pointy hats and everything?’

‘Actually they didn't really have those,’ the Doctor said apologetically. ‘Some artists thought it was more romantic to give Vikings horned helmets.’ 

‘Looks cold,’ Ryan said, peering through the windows. ‘All I can see is white.’

‘It’s very cold, minus three to be exact,’ the Doctor said, fiddling with her controls. ‘It all looks normal out there, nothing alien-y or out of the ordinary. Just lots of Vikings and snow.’

‘But you still want to take a look, right, Doc?’ Graham said. 

‘Who knows, we might even meet a giant wombat or two after all,’ Ryan grinned. 

The TARDIS shot a biscuit out of the console. It hit Ryan square in the face. 

* * *

The snow was crisp and pure white, Yaz had never seen anything like it. On the few occasions where it did snow in Sheffield, the snow tended to melt to a liquid grey slush pretty quickly and snowball fights were sadly few and far between. She did remember one trip to A&E though, after a snowball which had unknowingly contained a rock had been thrown at her ear. 

Here though, the snow stretched on for seemingly miles and miles. There were hills in the distance and it was almost blinding under a pure white sky. There was something quiet, calm and ethereal about the landscape, and for a moment Yaz found herself taken away with its beauty.

That is, until Ryan hit her in the back of her parka with a snowball and shattered the illusion. Honestly she wasn’t sure what else she’d been expecting. 

‘Look at that sky,’ the Doctor said, and when Yaz turned to her she found her staring at it almost dreamy eyed. 

‘Never seen anything like it, Doc,’ Graham agreed. ‘Cold holidays were never my thing. Grace and I used to go to places like Spain or Greece where we could get away from the British weather, but  _ this…’ _

He tailed off, eyes fixed upwards like the Doctor's. 

‘S’alright, bit bright,’ Ryan said, shielding his eyes against the glare. ‘I can’t see any aliens anywhere though.’

‘There’s smoke over there,’ Yaz said, pointing with a gloved hand. ‘It looks like a village.’

‘Good spot, Yaz!’ the Doctor grinned. ‘What do you think, gang? Fancy meeting some actual Vikings?’

‘As long as they’re not like the ones I remember from the movies,’ Graham said with a shiver. ‘All blood thirsty and swinging axes around.’

‘Nah,’ the Doctor said, brushing him off with a wave of her hand. ‘Well… not all of them at any rate. In fact the ones I’ve met have been quite accommodating.’

They started walking through the snow, although it was so high and thick it felt more like wading and Yaz was grateful for the ski boots she’d found in the TARDIS’ cavernous wardrobe. Even the Doctor was wearing thicker boots than normal, though the only other additions to her outfit was a woollen bobble hat and her rainbow scarf. 

As they walked the sky slowly began to get darker and it was almost dusk by the time they arrived at the outskirts of the village. As they’d walked a great forest had come into view over the cleft of the hill, dark and enormous in size. The village was situated just outside of it, wooden fences taller than Ryan surrounding it. Ryan supposed it was to protect the inhabitants from anything that came  _ out  _ of the forest, and he eyed it suspiciously. 

Two burly men brandishing - to Graham’s chagrin - axes met them at the gates, brows furrowed and eyes deep with suspicion. Yaz’s teeth chattered and she shoved her hands deep into her pockets, numb even with the heavy gloves on. 

‘Hiya!’ the Doctor said cheerily. ‘We’re a bit lost. Don’t suppose you’ve got a map we could look at do you?’

‘Where have you strangers come from?’ one of the Vikings asked, dark eyes casting a sweeping glance over the four travellers. 

‘From just over the hill,’ Graham said, gesturing with an arm. ‘No matter where we travel to our longboat always seems to get moored miles away from our destination.’

The Doctor elbowed him. 

‘It’s just the four of us. We came from another village but we got a bit lost,’ she said. ‘Don’t ‘spose you could help us out, could you? Please? We’re a bit cold.’

Moments later, the four of them were inside the Viking village, booted feet stepping over wooden boards which had clearly been recently swept clear of snow as the guard led them past wooden buildings and huts, deeper and deeper into the Viking encampment. Yaz was hardly surprised they’d made it in. When the Doctor turned on the puppy dog eyes she was powerless to resist. The Vikings had never stood a chance. 

‘It’s bigger on the inside,’ Ryan pointed out, and the Doctor raised an eyebrow.

‘Are you trying to be funny?’

‘There’s so many buildings,’ Yaz said, eyes wide in delight. ‘We learnt about the Vikings at school, only briefly though. From all the pictures of the excavated ruins it looked like the villages weren’t that large.’

‘Most of them fell away, or were degraded by time,’ the Doctor pointed out. ‘I’m pretty sure this one is  Hofstaðir, which would make this northeastern Iceland. There should be a pagan temple around here somewhere.’ 

A cow mooed from a paddock to their left and the Doctor pulled a distressed face. 

‘Don’t get too attached to the farm life,’ she warned her friends. ‘This lot are  _ big  _ on sacrifices. Got to appease those Gods somehow.’ 

‘Everyone’s looking a bit… um, suspicious of us, Doc,’ Graham pointed out, and the Doctor took in the silent faces of the villagers, frozen in their doorways with brooms in hand as they watched the four strangers go by. One woman, an armful of furs in her hands, practically ran back inside the house.

‘They’re terrified,’ the Doctor murmured, face scronching. 

‘It’s you and Yaz they seem to be staring at,’ Ryan pointed out, and Yaz realised he was right. People fell silent as they passed and one young child started to cry.

They arrived at a great stone building with more Vikings around the front of it, and were escorted up the steps and into a large hall, lit by wooden braziers. Fine rugs hung on the walls, and Yaz smelt meat cooking in the air. A distant murmur of deep voices echoed down the corridors, the clatter of plates and glasses getting louder the closer they got, and eventually they emerged into a round chamber with a number of large men sitting around a table, drinking and tearing chunks of meat with their teeth. 

‘My Lord,’ one of the guards called, and silence fell upon the hall. 

One man, larger and more burly than the rest, stood up from his seat. He was well over six foot and wore heavy, decorated armour. His hair was a deep red and his beard was braided, yet his countenance was dangerous and there was a scar marking his war-beaten face. 

‘What is this?’ he called in a deep voice. ‘Why have you brought these women here?’

Graham and Ryan exchanged confused looks.

‘Is it cause we haven’t got beards, Doc?’ Graham asked. 

‘They are travellers from another village, they approached the gate at sundown,’ one of the guards explained. 

‘Which village?’ the lord asked, face creased in suspicion. 

‘It’s just a way over the hill, we were out gathering sticks and ended up getting a bit lost,’ the Doctor explained as cheerily as always, taking a step forward. ‘Sorry to just barge in like this. I’m the Doctor, and these are my mates Graham, Ryan, and Yaz. Can I ask, why does everyone in your village look like they’ve already got one foot in the grave? It was hardly a warm welcome.’

‘They are frightened of the Huldra,’ the lord said. 

‘The what?’ Ryan asked.

‘Spirits of the forest,’ the lord explained, as though this should be obvious. ‘Our animals are dying, either of the cold or starvation. There is not enough meat on them to feed the families so the men are going into the forest to hunt. That is when the Huldra takes them.’

‘Takes them?’ Yaz asked. ‘Takes them where?’

‘To a place that we have not yet found,’ the lord said, shaking his head sadly. ‘Those that are stolen from us do not return. Did you cross through the forest on your way here?’

‘No,’ Graham chimed in. ‘Just an awful lot of walking.’

The Doctor turned around to glare at him as the lord gestured to one of his guards who stepped forward.

‘I am Lord Frode the Thunderer, ruler of these lands. This man will find you a room and food. We will show you our maps in the morning, it is too dangerous to travel out again now. You are welcome here, friends, but please. Do not go into the forest.’

‘Ominous,’ Graham muttered as they walked away.

* * *

The room they were led to was warm and welcoming. The walls were stone and there were three wooden beds covered in furs pushed up against the wall. A fire crackled in the hearth, providing ample heat, and the Doctor looked into the flames with a curious expression on her face as Graham and Ryan polished off the rest of the food they’d been brought.

‘So, “Huldra”,’ Graham said. ‘They don’t sound particularly friendly. I’m betting that’s why the TARDIS dragged us all here though.’ 

‘Scandanavian folklore,’ the Doctor explained. ‘Beautiful women, forest creatures, like sirens except they’re on land. They lure men into the forests and - uh, do unspeakable things to them.’

‘Kinky,’ Ryan muttered.

‘Thing is though they usually either kill them or return them,’ the Doctor said. ‘And Frode seemed to think they just went missing.’

‘That must have been why everyone was staring at you and Yaz,’ Ryan pointed out. ‘They probably thought you were Huldra.’

The Doctor looked blank, but Yaz was smirking.

‘And why’s that, Ryan?’ she asked sweetly.

Ryan rolled his eyes at her. 

‘Don’t make me say it,’ he muttered. ‘You know why.’

‘I don’t,’ the Doctor said. ‘The Huldra are meant to have tails of animals.’

‘He’s trying to say that you and Yaz are easy on the eye,’ Graham said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. ‘That’s why he thought they were staring at you. Probably thought you had an animal tail tucked into your trousers.’

The Doctor looked slightly repulsed.

‘So what’s the plan?’ Ryan asked, eager to change the subject. ‘Cause I’m assuming you’re gonna want to poke around.’

‘Well obvs,’ the Doctor said. ‘Probably not tonight though. I don’t want people being even more suspicious of us. Tomorrow, definitely.’ 

‘That Frode bloke said the snow wasn’t melting and the animals weren’t eating properly,’ Yaz said thoughtfully. ‘Do the Huldra control the weather in folklore?’

‘They can be vindictive towards humans but they don’t have control over the elements, I don’t think,’ the Doctor said. ‘Don’t forget though, they’re not actually real.’

‘Like the Loch Ness Monster wasn’t real,’ Yaz said pointedly, and the Doctor looked appalled.

‘Oi! I never said Nessie wasn’t real. I just said Ryan probably shouldn’t get his hopes up. She’s a very quiet creature usually, keeps herself to herself.’

‘Apart from when she’s drenching you in water,’ Ryan pointed out.

‘Yeah she really didn't take a shine to you for some reason,’ the Doctor agreed. 

‘Early night then,’ Graham said with a yawn, stretching out on one of the beds. ‘Cor, these aren’t half comfy, I wasn’t expecting this!’

‘You lot get some sleep, I’m gonna mooch around,’ the Doctor said, picking up her boots which had been drying by the fire and putting them back on her feet. 

‘Don’t get kidnapped by Huldras,’ Yaz said with a yawn. ‘Even if they aren’t actually real.’

‘And watch out for giant wombats!’ Ryan yelled after her. 

* * *

The Doctor made her way back out of the hall and into the square. From all around her came the sound of animals being led back into their paddocks and the call of voices to one another. It was completely dark now and the village would have seemed deserted, were it not for the smoke rising into the air from the chimneys and the occasional wail of a baby.

‘It’s not safe to be out,’ one of the guards told her gruffly. ‘King Frode implemented a mandatory curfew. You should return inside.’

‘I will, just wanted to stretch my legs first,’ the Doctor said, making a show of raising her arms above her head and arching her back. 

‘I would have thought you’d be exhausted from your journey,’ the guard replied, eyes narrowed. ‘You must have walked a while to get here. Why did you not drop anchor in our harbour?’

‘Took a wrong turn, got a bit lost,’ the Doctor said casually. ‘These disappearances then, how many so far?’

‘Twelve, in total. Ten men, two women.’

‘Twelve,’ the Doctor whistled through her teeth. ‘That’s a lot. How long has this been going on for?’

‘A few weeks now. Why are you so interested, has this not been going on in your village?’

‘No, can’t say it has. But I always help out where I can.’

The guard frowned at her. 

‘You… wish to help us fight the Huldra?’

‘If the opportunity arises. Not sure about fight though. Have strong words with maybe. Have they ever been seen?’

The guard pointed past the houses, towards the forest.

‘One child reported seeing a woman coming out of the woods a few days ago, just after midday. Moments later, a man was taken from his farm. We have not seen him since.’

‘A spirit that kidnaps villagers in broad daylight in such an open place. They’ve got nerve.’ 

The Doctor excused herself and headed into the village, boots crunching in the snow. The small faces of children peered at her in the window and she waved at them, before their parents pulled them away. Heading back the way they’d arrived out of the village proved to be a problem, as the number of guards had increased and there was no chance she’d slip through unseen, so instead the Doctor ducked behind a building and made her way as quietly as she could around the edge of the village towards the high wooden fence that surrounded it. It was clear the fence had been repaired, or at least reinforced, but the work hadn’t been completed and the Doctor found she was easily able to wiggle a post free to slip out into the snow on the other side. 

Empty white blankness stretched ahead of her as far as the eye could see. To the left was the hills they’d crossed to get here, in front of her was the great expanse of forest where the Huldra had apparently appeared from, and to the right was the frozen lake of the harbour where ships were caught in the ice. 

The Doctor licked her finger and stuck it up in the air. 

‘Summer, supposedly’ she murmured to herself. ‘No sign of the midnight sun though.’

She looked behind her to the quiet village. No-one seemed to have spotted her. 

‘I should wait for the fam,’ she said quietly. ‘Probably isn’t a good idea to head into the dark woods by myself when there’s evil people-catching creatures in them.’

She looked ahead towards the forest, shrugged, and started to walk.

‘They’ll be asleep for ages,’ she reasoned. ‘At least this way I can do something productive. Fingers crossed for no giant wombats though. I really don’t want to meet Bertha again, even if this is entirely the wrong century. And country, come to think of it. And  _ climate. _ ’

She crossed the expanse of snow and had barely taken one foot inside the forest before the trees seemed to swallow her up entirely. If she turned and squinted she could still see the village in the distance, but around her were trees as tall as buildings and snow fell from the branches intermittently, soaking her hair until she pulled up her hood. 

Sonic in hand, the Doctor headed onwards, scanning as she walked and squinting in the gloom.

‘No sign of anything yet,’ she said to herself. ‘Not even an owl. In fact there’s no wildlife  _ anywhere.’ _

A branch snapped behind her and the Doctor spun round, sonic arm held aloft 

‘Hello? Anyone there?’ she called into the gloom. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not scary. Just wanted a word if that’s alright!’

She continued onwards, swallowing hard and trying to ignore the way the hairs on the back of her neck were standing on end. 

‘If you’re planning on jumping out at me I’m probably going to scream, just warning you now. It’s dark in here and I can’t  _ really  _ see where I’m going.’

_ We wouldn’t jump out. _

The Doctor, on the other hand,  _ did  _ jump as the voice floated through the air like the wind. Branches rustled above her head and she stayed still, sonic still scanning as she tried to ignore the way the snow was melting into her boots and numbing her feet. 

‘Who’s there? I’m assuming I’m addressing the Huldra?’

_ Your word, not ours. _

‘Not even mine,’ the Doctor admitted. ‘A bunch of Vikings’ word actually. What do you call yourselves?’

_ We are the Leaf. _

‘Leaf?’

_ We are lost and far from home.  _

Eyes were appearing in the gloom and, if she concentrated really hard, the Doctor realised she could see shapes appearing, emerging from the trees and shining with a beautiful golden light. They filled her vision and her face went slack.

‘Oh,’ the Doctor said, arm falling down as she dropped her sonic into the snow. ‘You’re…  _ beautiful.’ _

_ As are you, little one. _

One of the creatures, who took the form of a woman with long deep purple hair and warm brown eyes, stepped forward and lifted a hand to the Doctor's face, caressing her cheek softly. 

_ You are far from home as well, you understand our loneliness,  _ she said, but it was as though they were  _ all  _ speaking the words, and the Doctor didn't actually see her lips move. 

She also found she was paralysed and unable to take a step forward or pick up her sonic, but that didn't matter. Why would she want to? These women were beautiful and kind and good to her. She didn't want to leave them. She wanted to stay here forever. She felt a beautiful warm numbness spread up her body, gripping her tightly as though she was being embraced. It was a feeling the Doctor hadn’t experienced for a long time, and she leaned into it gladly.

_ You are lost,  _ the creature said, leaning in until her pale pink lips were only centimetres from the Doctor's own,  _ but we will make you found. Don’t be frightened, little one. You’re safe now. You can live with us. _

The creature reached out a finger and traced it over the Doctor’s lip.

The Doctor closed her eyes. 


	2. Chapter 2

The suns were hot and bright and the Doctor lifted her hand against the glare. 

There was sand under her feet and she heard the crunch of it as she took a step forward. She could feel the heat of the day against her skin and as her eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness she saw a large stretch of water, a lake, shimmering in front of her and reflecting the dusky redness of the sky. 

_ The sky. _

‘No,’ the Doctor breathed, taking a step back and spinning around in panic. In the distance, two shining snow-covered mountains gleamed and behind her a great glass dome came rising out of the distance. When she lifted a hand to shield her face she saw the twin suns in the sky. There was no mistaking where she was. 

She spun around, searching for the mysterious Leaf, but she was alone and there was no-one around her, in fact there was no sign of anyone anywhere. It was a far cry from the wreck and ruins of her home though, this was Gallifrey restored to the glory of her childhood; before the Master got his hands on it. Before the death particule. Before her stint in Judoon prison that had seemed to drag on for years and years. She still wasn’t sure how long she’d been there for, though she knew it was longer than the four weeks she’d so easily lied to her friends about. 

‘Hello?’ she called, but only her own voice echoed back to her, bouncing off the mountains of Solace and Solitude and reverberating around the valley she was standing in. She remembered this lake. It was the same lake with the fish where Romana had -

‘Ah!’ 

She dropped to her knees, a hand pressed against her head as something sharp went through her brain like a needle. The coarse sand beneath her fingers disappeared and became softer, a rug maybe? She heard the sound of footsteps and the creaking of floorboards, and when she opened her eyes she saw - 

‘Master?’

Her voice was croaked and raw, but the young man sitting before her didn't respond, didn't even notice her. He was bent over a desk, pen in his hand scribbling furiously in a book. His hair was dark and slicked back against his scalp and his face was young and youthful, free of the dirt and ash of their homeworld. He hadn’t looked like this since the Academy. 

‘It’s no use!’ he yelled suddenly, hurling the pen across the room and slamming the book shut. ‘It’s not going in!’

‘I told you, you need a break. You can’t sit there glaring at the page hoping the words will suddenly leap into your head,’ another voice said, and when the Doctor looked up she saw herself sitting on the edge of the Master’s bed, hair ruffled and face smiling. 

‘What is this?’ she whispered. Then, louder and directed into the air: ‘Where am I?’

But the Leaf didn't respond, if they were even still out there.

The younger her stood and grabbed his jacket from the back of the door, slinging another one at the Master who caught it and glared up at him from the desk. 

‘Come on, time for a walk,’ he said cheerily. ‘Give your brain a rest. We’ve still got a few weeks before the exam. D’you wanna go down to the courtyard? I think I heard…’

But the rest of his words faded away, as did the image as the two men left the dorm room, the dorm room the Doctor was slowly beginning to remember as being the one she had shared with the Master all those years ago. It was messy, as teenage boys’ bedrooms so often were, and there were papers with scientific formula and messy sketches tacked up everywhere all along the room. Remnants of a once happy past. 

‘I’m sorry,’ the Doctor whispered to the departing Master’s back. He turned and for a  _ second  _ the Doctor could have sworn he looked right at her, but then he only closed the door and she was alone again.

Images continued to flash through her mind, each more painful than the last, and the Doctor curled on the floor with her hands either side of her head as the sharp stabs in her mind got more and more violent. She saw Sarah-Jane, Ace, Daleks, Ice Warriors, Autons, Rose, more Daleks, Cybermen, Martha - 

The images wouldn’t stick, they only swirled and rushed around her like a tornado. She was trapped in the centre, powerless to move.. Her head burned, her chest throbbed, but when she screamed there was no relief, only crushing memories of the friends she’d lost, the lives she’d lived, the foes she’d faced. She saw herself in the Matrix, she saw the past version of her she couldn’t remember; no matter how many times she went into the Zero Room to attempt to meditate. She saw tally marks etched into the stone walls of her cell on the Judoon ship, too many to count, she saw Jack’s face leaning over her, Yaz’s tears, Graham’s sofa where she’d been tucked in to recover. She felt it all crushing her like an avalanche and when she opened her mouth again to scream darkness came rushing in to greet her. 

* * *

‘Calm down, Doctor,  _ Doctor,  _ calm down, love, you’re alright. C’mon now, just breathe…’

Chest heaving, arms flailing and face burning the Doctor saw Graham swimming in front of her. She felt hands at her back, smelt Yaz’s perfume, noticed she was back in the room one of Frode’s men had led them to. The fire crackled and the air was full with the smells of cooking meat drifting in from the main hall. Yaz rubbed her hand soothingly. 

‘You back with us now?’ Ryan said, his voice worried. ‘S’alright, only us.’ 

‘Wh- what happened?’ she whispered, her throat sore and her hands shaking. She felt hot,  _ too  _ hot, and when she looked down she saw the thick fur blankets she must have been covered in. She saw her own clothes drying by the fire and realised she was wearing a long dress that was much too large for her, not to mention hardly her style. 

‘We had to borrow something dry from one of the shieldmaidens,’ Graham explained, noticing where she was looking. ‘Strapping big woman she was. I tell ya, I wouldn’t want to face her in battle.’

‘We found you in the snow,’ Yaz said soothingly, keeping her hand on the Doctor's back as she slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed. ‘It looked like you were trying to get back to the village. You must have been there all night.’

‘Sorry it took us so long,’ Graham said, and he sounded sincere. ‘We didn't notice you were missing till breakfast. Found you buried out there. Well, I say ‘found’. Ryan stepped on you.’

‘Not on purpose!’ Ryan but in quickly.

‘You’re lucky you heal quickly,’ Yaz said gently. ‘Though the Vikings now think you were sent by the gods to save them.’

‘Surviving lying in the snow in -4 temperatures all night does beggar all belief, in fairness to them,’ Graham said with a shrug. ‘You alright though, Doc? Do you remember anything?’

The Doctor rubbed her eyes, feeling a headache brewing behind her forehead. 

‘It’s not the Huldra, they’re called the Leaf,’ she explained tiredly. ‘Don’t really know what they are yet though. Telepaths maybe? Nosey,  _ definitely.  _ They got inside my head, dredged up old memories.’

‘Knocked a few screws loose?’ Graham said, smiling sadly at her. 

‘Something like that,’ she agreed. She stood, arms out at her sides as the long material of the shieldmaiden’s nightdress enveloped her. She felt as though she was swimming in fabric and she quickly tugged the whole thing off and left it abandoned on the floor as she dove for her now dry clothes. 

She heard awkward coughs from behind her and she turned, pulling her shirts over her head to find Graham with his hand over his eyes and Ryan staring up at the ceiling as though it was the most fascinating ceiling he’d ever seen in his life.

Yaz, on the other hand, was staring at her bare back in horror and - too late - the Doctor realised what she must be staring at. 

‘It’s nothing,’ she said quickly, pulling on her shirts. ‘Honestly.’

‘What’s nothing?’ Graham asked, ‘is it safe to look?’

‘You’re good,’ Yaz replied once the Doctor had her trousers clipped back on to her braces and was pulling her boots on. 

‘Doc, we’ve talked about this,’ Graham told her, exasperated. 

‘S’hardly my fault if you can’t deal with nudity!’ the Doctor said, rolling her eyes and pulling her coat on. ‘Is there any grub? I’m  _ starving.’ _

She marched out of the room, following her nose most likely, and Graham and Ryan turned to Yaz. 

‘What was nothing?’ Ryan asked. ‘What were you looking at?’

‘Do you remember when we all went swimming in the Emerald Waterfall?’ Yaz asked. 

‘Course, I’m hoping for a return trip if I’m honest,’ Graham chuckled. ‘Why?’

‘Did the Doctor have anything on her back?’ Yaz asked quietly. 

‘She were wearing a swimming cossie, Yaz,’ Graham shrugged. ‘I couldn’t see anything.’

‘High up, just under her shoulder blade.’ 

‘I can’t say I was looking,’ Graham said apologetically, but Ryan was firmly shaking his head. 

‘No, she didn't. I remember cause she got stuck in front of me on the waterslides and I was staring at her back for ten minutes while they got that space-racoon out of the water filter.’ 

‘Nothing at all?’

‘Maybe a freckle or two. Why?’

‘She’s lying to us, about how long she was on the Judoon ship,’ Yaz said, shaking her head miserably. ‘There’s a burn on her back, like a brand almost. It’s had time to heal.’

‘Longer than four weeks?’ Graham asked quietly, and Yaz nodded. 

‘It’s months old, maybe even longer.’

Just then, the Doctor stuck her head round the door looking miffed. 

‘Are you lot coming?’ she asked. ‘I’ve saved us a seat but there’s a very annoyed looking Viking who clearly wants it. You better hurry up.’

Not wanting to question her after her ordeal in the snow, the fam simply followed her into the great hall. 

* * *

Lorde Frode sat on his throne at the front of the hall, eating dinner with his wife beside him. Two gigantic fire pits provided heat, and all along the walls were lit braziers cheerfully illuminating the room. Benches stretched out from one end of the hall to the other, and it was on the end of one of these that the Doctor was devouring everything she could get her hands on, seemingly suddenly ravenous. 

Ryan took a sip of his drink, apparently beer, and pulled a face. 

‘They don’t mess around with their alcohol,’ he coughed politely. 

‘They haven’t really got the hang of distilling yet,’ the Doctor explained. ‘So it’s pretty strong.’ 

‘You’re telling me,’ Graham said, eyes watering.

‘Yaz,’ the Doctor said softly, when Graham and Ryan had somehow managed to get themselves involved in a game of something called  _ hnefatafl  _ with two farmers, ‘why are you staring at me?’

‘You know why,’ Yaz whispered back. ‘Because of this.’

She raised a hand and placed it lightly over the area on the Doctor's coat-covered back where she now knew the brand to be. The Doctor flinched and Yaz pulled her hand away, placing it on her arm instead. 

‘Who did that to you?’ she asked quietly. ‘Who hurt you?’

‘It was an accident, just a game that got out of hand,’ the Doctor said, trying to brush her off. ‘I was being clumsy. It’s fine, Yaz. Honest.’

‘Why are you lying to me?’

The Doctor looked at her, green eyes meeting the brown, and saw the deep concern and worry in Yaz’s face. They hadn’t really talked about the whole Gallifrey business, or the Master, or the Judoon, or any of it really. They’d tried, god knows they’d tried, but the Doctor always clammed up and made excuses or changed the subject, and none of the fam wanted to upset her by pushing her to find out more. It wasn’t the same as insisting she tell them where she was from, it was more personal and raw.

‘How long were you in that cell for?’ Yaz tried again and - for a second - when the Doctor opened her mouth she almost expected to hear the truth, but just at that moment the doors to the great hall were flung open and five Vikings burst into the room. 

‘Lord Frode!’ one of them called. ‘We have distressing news.’ 

The hall fell silent, only the crackle of the fires breaking it as the men stood before their lord, out of breath with snow dripping from their clothes.

‘It is Njord, my lord,’ one of the men said. ‘He is missing. He was with us, hunting in the forest, we were all together with axes at the ready as you instructed, but he just - disappeared.’

‘It is as though the forest took him,’ another man said. ‘One second beside us and the next, gone.’

A murmur sounded throughout the room, hushed voices speaking urgently, but they fell silent once more when Lord Frode stood and looked straight at the Doctor. 

‘I saw my men carrying you in from the forest this morning,’ he said, and the Doctor wrinkled her nose at the thought. ‘Tell me, Doctor, you were there all night. Did you see anything?’

The Doctor stood, and Yaz’s hand fell from her arm as she looked down at her plate in dismay. 

So close, she’d been  _ so close. _

‘There’s danger in those woods,’ the Doctor began, her voice ringing out clearly throughout the room. ‘It’s not the Huldra exactly, just beings who act like them. I don’t think they’re mimicking your folklore, but they seem to behave in a similar way.’

‘Similar how? What danger do they pose, exactly?’ Lord Frode asked, and Yaz realised the hall was now completely silent with every occupant - man, woman, and child - staring up at the Doctor in rapture. No matter where she was, the Doctor could command attention like it was nobody’s business.

‘I’m not sure,’ the Doctor admitted. ‘I’d need to go back and find them again.’

_ That  _ got attention, and the murmurs and voices got louder and louder until Lord Frode’s voice bellowed out  _ ‘silence!’  _ and silence fell once more.

‘You are volunteering to go back and find these demons?’ Frode asked, and the Doctor looked surprised. 

‘Of course,’ she said. ‘They’re a mystery. I  _ love  _ a good mystery. Plus I actually managed to get away, though admittedly I don’t know how.’ 

‘Because she is in league with them!’ another Viking yelled out, standing and banging his mug on the table. ‘These two seductresses have come into our camp, seemingly oblivious to our troubles, and one of them then not only immediately finds the Huldra but then manages to get free? It is no coincidence, my lord. They should be checked for animal tails.’

‘Not sure what that makes us,’ Graham whispered to Ryan. ‘Exempt, maybe?’

‘They were,’ a woman called, standing also, and the Doctor assumed this was the  _ strapping big woman  _ that her friends had borrowed the nightdress off of. She was certainly something. 

‘Speak, Hilda,’ Frode commanded. 

‘I assisted Yasmin in getting the Doctor dry,’ the shieldmaiden went on. ‘I can assure you, my lord. There is no animal tail. She is as human as you or I.’

The Doctor decided not to correct her. 

‘Let me go back out into the woods, tomorrow,’ the Doctor urged Frode. ‘Big man over there can come along if he doesn’t trust me. Maybe I’ll be able to get more information for you. Can’t hurt, eh?’

The Viking who’d spoken out against her looked surprised, but when Frode asked him to confirm if you would be willing to go alongside the Doctor he agreed immediately. 

‘It would be my honour to serve the gods and our people,’ he said, and Frode sat back down upon his throne. 

‘It is decided then,’ he said. ‘A search party will go out into the woods tomorrow to confront these Huldra, or whatever they really are. Eat well, my friends. Tomorrow we shall face our foe.’

Sitting back down at the table, the Doctor was silent as she picked at the remains of her food. Yaz decided against pressing her for more information about her time with the Judoon, she didn't think she’d get much out of her now. 

* * *

Later, when Ryan and Graham had had far too much of the beer and most of the Vikings were either drunk or snoring in the great hall, Yaz stretched out on the bed and listened to the Doctor breathing quietly at the other end. It was so rare to see her still, rarer still for her to be quiet, and Yaz gazed up at the ceiling, listening to the snores from the two men and the crackling of the fire. She hadn’t top-and-tailed since her and Sonya were young and was grateful the Doctor seemed to have the tendency to curl herself into a ball whilst sleeping, she was hardly a young child anymore. 

The Doctor stretched, her leg kicking in her sleep, and Yaz turned to the side to avoid getting a foot in the face. 

She looked into the dying embers of the fire and shivered underneath her blanket, though not from the cold. Jack hadn’t been very forthcoming about the state he’d found the Doctor in all those weeks ago, and she’d been so out of it she’d hardly been able to tell them either. Not that that mattered in the end. The Doctor had never been forthcoming about her feelings and she was hardly going to start now. Yaz just wished she knew more about the Master, more about Gallifrey. She wished her friend would speak to her about these things, god knows Yaz told her enough about herself. And now this mark on her back that had obviously been there for months? Where had that come from? 

Yaz closed her eyes, head full of questions and heart full of pain, and tried to sleep.

The Doctor, her eyes open and hands clutching the blanket tightly, tried to slow the beating of her hearts. Her head was thumping still and there was a weariness in her bones she couldn’t shake. She shivered under the blanket, trying not to be so restless as to wake Yaz. She hadn’t been planning on sleeping, but after Frode had announced the search party she’d felt herself nodding off at the table and hadn’t been able to shrug off the urge to sleep. Besides, Graham and Ryan had had to be dragged away from their beer. Turns out they’d acquired a taste for it after all. 

Trying to take deep breaths to calm herself, the Doctor closed her eyes again and tried to concentrate on the sound of the wind outside. Her mind was in turmoil. Half of her wanted to sleep whilst the other wanted to get up and go, to run back to the TARDIS and hide in the Time Vortex. The memories the Leaf had pulled from her subconscious were ones she hadn’t thought of for a long time. The Master had always been so jealous that she picked things up so quickly, but he was always under so much pressure from his family to do well that he thought staring at a book for hours on end would help him to learn something.

The Doctor, who didn't really have a family to speak of, had gladly sacrificed her time to help him. Or  _ his  _ time, as she’d been then.

_ Even that was a lie,  _ she thought to herself now, lying silent in the dark.  _ The only good memories I have are my childhood on Gallifrey and it was all fake.  _

_ That happened,  _ the Master murmured quietly in her head.  _ Growing up together in the Academy. That happened. _

She gritted her teeth and rolled onto her back, pulling the blanket up to the chin and glaring up at the ceiling. She knew he wasn’t there. She wasn’t quite so foolish as to think that he’d died on Gallifrey, he always had an escape plan even when the situation seemed dire, but who knows where he was now, or if any of his ‘Cybermasters’ had escaped with him. 

Yaz kicked out, the heel of her foot colliding with the Doctor's leg. The Doctor drew her legs up to give Yaz more space, turning her head to the fire. 

The one constant she’d had was her lives. She knew who she was. She knew where she’d come from and where she was going. And now it had all been ripped away from her. She felt lifeless, abandoned, completely alone even with her three friends sleeping in the same room as her. 

_ Come back to us.  _

The Doctor shot up so fast she woke up Yaz, who blinked blearily at her from the other end of the bed. 

‘Doctor?’ Yaz mumbled sleepily. ‘You alright?’

‘Yeah, go back to sleep,’ the Doctor said quietly, climbing out of bed and padding across to the window. The Vikings didn't have glass in their windows, that wouldn’t happen for another few hundred years yet, but there was a hole in the wooden shutters and when the Doctor peered through it she saw the forest looming at the edge of the settlement, illuminated by the light of the moon. 

The purple-haired leaf woman came out of the trees, lifted a finger, and pointed right at her. 

_ You won’t be alone any more. _

‘Get out of my head,’ the Doctor growled, throwing up as many mental barriers as she could to block out the creature. It flickered before fading away, but the mental drain slammed into her like a freight train and her knees buckled. 

Fortunately, Yaz caught her before she hit the floor and for a moment the two women simply sat there, the Doctor fighting against the pull of sleep as she tried to get her head back in order. One of the many burdens of being a telepath. When someone got into your head it was a real struggle to get them out again, especially if you’d never learnt how. 

Fortunately, this wasn’t the Doctor's first rodeo. 

‘Was it them?’ Yaz whispered quietly. ‘Was it the Leaf?’

‘They’re powerful telepaths, more so than I imagined,’ the Doctor whispered back. ‘No wonder so many men went in after them, they couldn’t resist.’

‘What do they want?’

‘Memories, I think.’

Yaz was silent for a moment, and the Doctor felt her hand on the spot just over her back when the burn was. It was stupid of her to let Yaz see, she hadn’t meant for any of them to notice. Don’t let them see the damage, isn’t that what -

No. Best not to think about her long dead wife right now. 

‘Come on, you’re freezing,’ Yaz murmured gently, tugging at the Doctor’s arm and pulling her back over to the bed. 

Yaz climbed in beside her, not at the other end this time but lying next to her, and carefully rolled onto her side to tuck an arm around the Doctor's waist. Not squeezing, just keeping it there lightly. 

‘What’s that for?’ the Doctor whispered in the dark. 

‘If they call you again and you move, it’ll wake me up,’ Yaz replied. ‘I’ve got you.’ 

The Doctor felt a tear slide down her face but she quickly wiped it away before closing her eyes, and falling asleep. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I considered deleting this but decided to give it one more go! <3

The walk back through the forest in the morning was calm and silent, broken only by the crunch of twigs underfoot. Under the thick canopy of trees not much snow had permeated the forest floor, but that also had the added effect of making it quite dark, even though it was the middle of the day.

The Viking who’d spoken out against the Doctor in the main hall the night before turned out to be called Bjorn. He mainly kept himself to himself, pausing only to question if the Doctor was  _ sure  _ she was going the right way, or to hack overhanging branches out of the way with his axe.

Truth be told, Graham was more afraid of Hilda. The shieldmaiden had insisted she come along too, in repayment for the loan of her nightdress apparently, and she was a good deal taller than Bjorn and not quite so brutish either. Graham liked her. 

He turned his head to find the Doc and Yaz walking closely together, both staring intently at the ground and not speaking to each other. He’d thought he’d heard them chatting in the night, though perhaps he’d been mistaken. He’d been trying to get a look at the mark Yaz had mentioned, but whatever it was must be closely hidden under her t-shirts cause he couldn’t see neither hide nor hair of it. 

‘If you went this far in it’s a long way to get back on your own,’ Graham remarked to the Doctor, but she only shrugged.

‘Don’t remember it. I could have grown wings and flown back for all I know.’

‘Now there’s a sight I’d like to see,’ he replied, nodding thoughtfully. 

The further in they walked the darker it got and Graham was just about to hesitantly suggest turning back when Hilda’s great booming voice echoed amongst the trees, calling that she’d found something.

The Doctor snatched it out of her hands at once, cradling it in her own happily.

‘My sonic! How did it get out here?’

‘You must have dropped it,’ Yaz said, looking into her hands. The sonic screwdriver was unharmed, and the Doctor carefully wiped off the dirt and dew with the sleeve of her coat before tucking it back into her pocket.

‘What is that?’ Bjorn asked, eyeing her pocket suspiciously. 

‘A talisman, family heirloom. Nothing exciting about it whatsoever,’ the Doctor replied coolly, though judging from the side eye Bjorn cast her Graham could tell he hadn’t been convinced.

‘There’s something else,’ Hilda said, dropping to her knees with her hand hovering just above the ground. ‘Something here, in the soil.’

It was difficult to see in the dim light and Yaz was just about to ask the Doctor what these Vikings might think about a torch, when Ryan suddenly pointed and exclaimed:

‘Is that a bootprint?’

‘Looks like it,’ the Doctor agreed, holding her own booted foot just above it for comparison. ‘Not mine though, too big.’

‘Must belong to whoever you were working with,’ Bjorn said darkly, a hand moving towards the handle of his axe.

Hilda smacked him in the arm. 

‘Don’t be so quick to distrust,’ she told him gruffly. ‘We know the Doctor was attacked here last night, this bootprint must belong to her attacker.’

‘They didn't strike me as the kind to have big feet,’ the Doctor mused, peering closely at it before lifting her head and sniffing the air, like a wolf stalking her prey. ‘There’s another one here.’

How she’d spotted it Yaz had no idea, but the five of them followed her nonetheless as she pushed aside branches and kicked away sticks and small stones, moving further and further away from the village as they ventured deeper into the woods.

As they walked, the Doctor pausing every now and then to watch the ground before darting off again like a bloodhound, Yaz realised it was starting to get a little brighter. In fact, it was getting a  _ lot  _ brighter, and after following the trail for around 20 minutes the little group found themselves in a clearing. 

‘Woah,’ Graham said, whistling through his teeth. Yaz had to agree.

The clearing wasn’t particularly large, but it was beautiful. The grass was the most beautiful green Yaz had ever seen, and wildflowers grew in bushes around it. Above them the sky was the most beautiful blue and it was warm, a light summer breeze catching the ends of the Doctor's hair, even underneath her bobble hat.

‘This is the work of the Gods!’ Bjorn explained, and he and Hilda immediately dropped to their knees.

The Doctor took this distraction to pull out her sonic and sneakily scanned their surroundings, face scronched as she walked around the perimeter; sonic held aloft. There was something strange in the air that was setting Yaz’s teeth on edge, something prickly climbing under her skin. Looking at Graham and Ryan she could tell they were feeling it too.

‘There’s something not quite right about this place,’ Ryan said, shivering despite the warm breeze. 

‘Aside from the fact it’s clearly its own dimension you mean,’ Graham pointed out.

The Doctor, who had finished sonicing and had rejoined her fam, looked stunned.

‘How did you know it was its own dimension?’ she explained, northern tones coming out strongly as she waved her sonic in the air. ‘What do I even need this for?’

‘It is the realm of the Gods!’ Bjorn explained from the ground. ‘We are in Valhalla!’

‘No,’ the Doctor said quietly, boot digging lightly at the earth. ‘Unfortunately I don’t think we are.’

Yaz clamped a hand over her mouth and Ryan took a step back.

A skull was glinting at them from underneath a rosebush, the white bone free of the dirt the Doctor had scuffed away. There was a mark on the skull, some kind of indent, and when Hilda saw it she let out a cry. 

‘Njord! My friend,’ she cried out, lifting the skull and holding it tenderly in her hands. ‘A true warrior.’

‘How do you know -’ Graham began, but Bjorn cut him off.

‘Njord sustained that mark in battle,’ he explained gravely. ‘He truly was a powerful man.’

‘Not powerful enough,’ Ryan whispered to the Doctor. ‘Who did this to him?’

‘I don’t know,’ the Doctor replied quietly. 

‘This is  _ months  _ of decomposition, years even,’ Yaz said softly. ‘He’s been here a while, but they only reported him missing yesterday?’

‘No, he’s only been here a night,’ the Doctor said, kneeling down to scan the ground whilst Bjorn and Hilda whispered a prayer for Njord’s soul to enter Valhalla. ‘Something did this, stripped him bare.’

‘The Leaf?’ Graham suggested. 

‘They didn't strike me as the particularly murderous type,’ the Doctor said, forehead furrowed. ‘That wasn’t the feeling I got from them it was more - mutual. Like an understanding between us. They were lost souls looking for friends.’

‘Is that by definition a description of you?’ Yaz asked sadly. 

The Doctor looked up from her examination of Njord’s burial site to find her three friends looking at her with something akin to pity on their faces, but before she had the chance to say anything Bjorn had sat beside her and was carefully digging with his big hairy hands, freeing more bones from the soil.

‘We shall take him back and bury him properly,’ he explained, removing an empty sack from his back to tenderly place the bones into. ‘We shall have a feast in his honour.’

‘I do not like this place,’ Hilda said, sword in her hand. ‘Not only because it took our friend from us. It feels… uncomfortable.’

‘You were proclaiming this to be the realm of the Gods a minute ago,’ Ryan pointed out to her. ‘What changed your mind?’

‘There is evil here,’ Hilda declared. ‘I can feel it.’

‘As I can I,’ Bjorn agreed, heaving the sack onto his back. ‘We should leave, it is not safe here.’ 

‘Doc? Time to go?’ Graham asked the Doctor.

She didn't reply, gazing at something in the distance which the humans couldn’t see with a lost expression on her face.

_ ‘Doctor.’  _ Yaz said, more firmly, and her friend jumped and turned back to her.

‘Yes?’

‘We should be heading off, doesn’t look like there’s anything here for us to see.’

‘In this magical realm it seems to always be daylight,’ Hilda said, ‘yet I can feel the night drawing closer. It is not safe for us to be in these woods at night, as you well know.’

‘Are you alright?’ Yaz asked, catching the Doctor's arm as the others began to head back the way they’d come. ‘You look a bit peaky.’

‘I’m fine,’ the Doctor countered, looking the opposite. 

‘Well it’s not like you’d tell us if you weren’t,’ Yaz muttered, suddenly annoyed, and a flash of annoyance flittered across the Doctor's face.

‘Yaz, I keep some stuff from you for a reason.’

‘Like how long you were actually in that prison for?’ Yaz shot back, feeling anger rising in her veins.

‘Why does it matter?’ the Doctor asked, exasperated. ‘I’m out of it now aren’t I?’

‘It  _ matters  _ because you’re my  _ friend,  _ and I  _ MISSED YOU,’  _ Yaz yelled at her suddenly. ‘You LEFT ME on Earth. We thought you were DEAD. Then Jack drops you off and you’re skinny and miserable and half out of it and don’t worry, he never told us the truth either. Swear him to secrecy too did you? “Don’t tell the humans, they wouldn’t be able to handle it, their brains are far too tiny”.’

‘Do you seriously think I would treat you like that?’ the Doctor said, genuinely hurt. ‘Seriously?’

‘Well it’s not like you’ve not done it before,’ Graham angrily pointed out to her. ‘With Gallifrey. You know, your home planet that got destroyed that you kept secret from us.’

‘Did it ever occur to you I didn't want to talk about it?!’ the Doctor cried. ‘Did you ever even consider it would be too much for me to share?’

‘So you can quite happily see our home planet get turned into an Orphan world without a bother but when it comes to sharing stuff about your own noooooo that’s too big for your  _ friends  _ to know about, right?’ Ryan spat at her. 

‘You lie and you keep stuff from us and you expect us to still trust you but how can we?’ Yaz sobbed. ‘You won’t even tell us how long you were  _ really  _ in that cell for.’

‘TEN THOUSAND YEARS,’ the Doctor yelled, and her friends fell silent. 

She looked down at her boots.

‘Ten thousand nine hundred and sixty five years, and two hundred and three days’ she whispered to the ground. ‘I counted every day until I ran out of space to mark them and had to start again.’

Yaz felt her heart break deep inside her chest and the anger vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

‘Why - why are we yelling at each other, Doc?’ Graham whispered. ‘We don’t do that. We don’t shout at each other.’

‘It’s this place,’ Hilda told him, gripping his arm urgently. ‘I told you, the woods are full of evil. Now come on, we need to get out of here.’

‘Doctor -’ Yaz whispered, hand reaching out to her friend as tears fell freely down her cheeks, but the Doctor only turned away and walked silently ahead of them. 

‘We - we just treated her like -’

But Ryan couldn’t finish his sentence, and they spent the rest of the journey back in silence. 

* * *

Yaz didn't see the Doctor that evening. 

A feast was held for Njord. Songs were sung, tankards were drained, and Njord’s remains were burned on a mighty funeral pyre that lit up the sky with flames, yet the Doctor was nowhere to be seen. 

Yaz, Graham, and Ryan felt wretched. Even though they knew it was the atmosphere in the woods that had turned them to screaming at their friend, their words had come from a place of truth and Yaz couldn’t get the look on the Doctor's face out of her mind. It was beyond hurt, beyond misery. She’d never looked so lost and alone. 

‘We have to find her,’ Graham said later that evening when their hosts were passed out in the main hall and they were back in their room, the fire crackling. ‘She might have wandered into the forest, we have to go looking for her.’

‘I’ll go,’ Yaz said quietly. 

‘Yaz, let me -’

But Yaz shook her head as Graham started to get up from his chair. 

‘No,’ she said. ‘I started it, I’ll find her.’

She left before her friends could start protesting and made her way back into the main hall where Vikings were drooling on each other’s shoulders or having whispered conversations into their mead tankards. It was quieter in the hall now, though a couple of the shieldmaidens were piling more logs onto the fire pits to keep the warmth in. 

‘She’s by the water,’ Hilda said, noticing Yaz looking around with a lost expression. 

Hilda was sitting on the bench, firelight reflecting in her eyes. Beside her, Bjorn and two other men as big as him were rubbing their eyes and humming a tune quietly, thumping their big fists against the table.

‘Where -’

Hilda inclined her head and Yaz smiled sadly in thanks and headed towards the door.

‘She’s not a fool, you know,’ Hilda continued, and Yaz turned back to look at her. ‘Her heart shines through her eyes, as does yours.’

‘I - I don’t -’ 

‘Goodnight, Yaz,’ Hilda said, draining her tankard and leaving it on the table. ‘May the Gods protect your dreams.’

And with that cryptic statement she turned and left, leaving Yaz to watch after her with her heart in her mouth. 

She contemplated the shieldmaiden’s words as she walked, pushing open the door and stepping out into the cold. She knew exactly how she felt about the Doctor, and their absence had only made her feelings stronger, yet she had never even contemplated -  _ could  _ never even contemplate - that the Doctor may feel the same way about her for even one minute. The Doctor was an ancient being from a planet now long gone and Yaz was just…

Well, Yaz was just Yaz.

Yaz could hear the water lapping gently against the shore as she made her way to the back of the village and stepped onto the rough, pebbled beach that lay beyond it. Longboats and fishing boats were tied up to a long jetty and at the end Yaz could see her friend, sitting quietly and hardly moving.

The boards creaked under her feet as Yaz made her way across them, giving away her position before she’d gotten anywhere near the Doctor, yet the Doctor didn't once turn around and it wasn’t until Yaz was sat beside her, feet dangling about a foot above the water, that the Doctor even acknowledged her presence with a slight incline of her head. 

‘I’m sorry,’ Yaz whispered, deciding that was as good a place as any to start.

‘You have nothing to be sorry for,’ the Doctor replied, her voice lacking all of its usual bounce and joy. ‘You were right, I do keep stuff from you then expect you to trust me.’

‘Everyone does though,’ Yaz said, looking down at the black waves. ‘No-one is ever completely honest with anyone.’

‘The stuff I keep from you is  _ big,  _ though,’ the Doctor countered, meeting her eyes. ‘Like the destruction of my planet by my once best friend.’

‘I can’t even imagine how that must have felt,’ Yaz said quietly. ‘I just wish -’

‘That I’d told you sooner? I know.’

The Doctor dropped her head and Yaz reached out and took her hand. 

‘I wish you hadn’t been alone when you saw it for the first time,’ she said, squeezing her hand. ‘I wish you’d had a friend with you. I wish the Master hadn’t betrayed you, I wish I’d known Gallifrey in its glory.’

‘You wouldn’t have even been allowed to step outside of the TARDIS,’ the Doctor said, the ghost of a smile tugging at her lips. ‘Rassilon had very strict rules about humans on Gallifrey. That was my fault though, to be fair.’

Her face dropped. 

‘He’s dead,’ she whispered after a pause, as though this hadn’t occurred to her until this moment. ‘Rassilon - he’s…’

She trailed off and Yaz squeezed her hand again. 

‘Friend of yours?’

The Doctor scoffed. 

‘Hardly. He was a tyrant.’

They fell into silence for a moment, hands held tightly as they looked down at the water, and there was a long pause before the Doctor spoke again.

‘I was - recognised, in the prison,’ she said quietly, so quietly in fact that Yaz hardly heard her. ‘That’s the problem with being a do-gooder throughout the universe. It’s all fun and games until  _ you  _ get sent to the very place all the bad guys were being locked away in. The Pting was there! Did I tell you that?’

One look at Yaz’s face told her all she needed to know.

‘No, of course I didn't,’ she whispered. ‘I didn't tell you anything.’

Yaz squeezed her hand and waited until she felt comfortable enough to speak again.

‘It happened the fourth week I was there. They’d make you walk laps around the prison for exercise and I was tired. I hadn’t been eating either, the food was  _ disgusting,  _ Yaz, I’d have killed for a home cooked meal, even if Graham had been the one that cooked it, but I stumbled and - well. They grabbed me.’

She made an imperceptible movement with her shoulder and Yaz realised she was about to learn what had happened. 

‘It’s a Lavon, that’s the name of the alien that grabbed me, although “alien” is subjective in a place like that. They’re massive bull-like creatures and they can heat up their hooves till they’re blisteringly hot to touch. I got one of them put away when I stopped it terrorising Crete back in the 6th century. I’d gotten too close to its cell and when I stumbled it - well, you can imagine what happened next.’ 

Yaz pressed a hand against her mouth, tears welling up in her eyes. 

‘The Judoon don’t really care what prisoners do to themselves inside,’ the Doctor went on bitterly. ‘As long as they’re not doing it to the innocents outside. I had to fight him off me.’

She was silent again and Yaz felt her heart breaking anew. All those years,  _ thousands of years,  _ locked up in a prison on her own with an angry burn healing on her back and no-one to comfort her, no-one to even hold her hand. 

‘It was much worse,’ the Doctor said with a shrug. ‘Jack took me to a hospital after he busted me out, got it fixed up properly but it had been so long they couldn’t get rid of the scar. At least I can move my shoulder now.’

Yaz let out a sob and the Doctor looked at her with sadness in her eyes. 

‘This is why I keep some things from you,’ she said quietly. ‘You’ve got such a big heart, Yasmin Khan. All that love. You try and protect everyone but sometimes - sometimes I keep things from you to avoid upsetting you.’

‘You keep things from me to avoid upsetting  _ yourself,’  _ Yaz countered, placing her hands on either side of the Doctor's face, her cheeks cold beneath her palms. ‘You keep things from me because you don’t think I can take it, but I  _ can,  _ Doctor, I  _ can.  _ You can’t go through this alone, it would break anyone.’

‘Do I look broken to you?’ the Doctor smiled gently. ‘It’ll take a lot more than that, it even took more than the destruction of my home planet. I’m stronger than you think, Yaz.’

‘And so am I, you know that,’ Yaz told her, and in her eyes she knew the Doctor was pictured a long haired girl in a grey tracksuit sitting on top of a hill in the Yorkshire Dales, all by herself.

‘Yes, you are,’ the Doctor replied softly, face full of love, and Yaz leaned forward and kissed her. 

Her lips were cold, but she didn't pull away and after a few moments when Yaz swiped her tongue carefully against the Doctor's bottom lip she opened her mouth with a quiet groan and her hands came up to grip tightly to Yaz’s coat. Time fell away from them and the sound of the wind in the air and the water lapping against the jetty and the shore disappeared entirely as Yaz tangled her frozen fingers in blonde hair and kissed the Doctor senseless, until the blonde was looking at her through heavy, lidded eyes when Yaz eventually pulled away from her. 

‘Inside, now,’ Yaz whispered. 

* * *

The hall was full of snoring Vikings when Yaz and the Doctor slipped back inside but neither of them noticed and Yaz pushed the Doctor up against the first wall she found, a little alcove heated by the main hall but far enough away for no-one to notice or hear them. 

She kissed her again, desperately and hotly as her fingers unclipped the Doctor's shirts and snaked beneath them.

‘Cold hands,’ the Doctor whispered, panting into Yaz’s mouth as Yaz unclasped her sports bra and ran her hand across her breast, feeling her hearts pounding quickly beneath the skin. The Doctor whimpered when Yaz pushed her shirts up and pressed her lips against her chest, warm tongue pressed against a firm nipple and hands fiddling with the clasp on her trousers. 

The Doctor sighed, one hand in Yaz’s hair and the other on her arm as Yaz slid her hand inside her trousers and glided carefully through her, feeling tangled hair and silky heat beneath her fingers.

‘Yaz…’ the Doctor moaned quietly, and Yaz kissed her again to keep her quiet, pushing her firmly against the wall and tangling their tongues together as she tried to kiss all the years of hurt and loneliness out of her. She pulled one of the Doctor's legs around her hip as she rubbed her softly between her legs, feeling her tremble and rut with quiet moans and gasps against Yaz’s mouth.

She kept her there for a few minutes, dangling on the edge as she slid her fingers through her and pressed her tongue inside her mouth. She’d never seen the Doctor so yielding before, so willing to be touched, and there was something impossible to describe in the way the Doctor clung to her and gave herself to her so completely. 

When she came it was quiet, but it was with Yaz pressed against her and Yaz’s hand between her legs. Yaz kissed her through it, then pulled her shirts back down and redid her trousers and braces.

‘Yaz…’ the Doctor said, reaching for her quietly. Her eyes were black, cheeks pink, and Yaz kissed her again. 

‘Sleep, now,’ she said quietly. ‘Come on.’

The Doctor let herself be led down the corridor and back into their room. The two men immediately sat up on their beds but Yaz must have made some kind of gesture at them as they were silent and the Doctor let herself be pulled onto the bed with Yaz and into her arms. 

She fell asleep with Yaz’s fingers stroking the burn on her back, and Yaz’s heart beating steadily beneath her ear. 


End file.
